We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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