it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
