..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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