What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
