OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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