I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
