Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
