I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
