I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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