Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
