One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Quick, to the slutcave!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
