Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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