Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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