YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
