Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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