She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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