Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
