i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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