he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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