So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
