I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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