I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
