i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
