I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
im drinking this country out of the recession.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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