it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
