I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
