when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Pants are for mortals
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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