Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
