I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
