I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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