Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
