i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
