so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
