he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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