first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
