Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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