I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
