He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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