Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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