is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I need water and some morals
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
