Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
And then he peed in my hair
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