i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
