It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
