So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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