well you can't waste a boner
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
