If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
