After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
