What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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