they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
