just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
