Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
