I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
