I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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