I think I just saw someone hide a body.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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